Monday
May 3, 2004
It's
all a blur. The best trip back home to date, except for the
huge fucking bruise seeping out on my ass from slipping in
Andy's shower because his cleaning habits are "If I don't
bother it it won't bother me."
I arrived
and missed my second plane from Houston to Lexington talking
on the phone with Kathi, smoking a cig and being my typical
brain damaged Cathy self. When I walked up to the ticket
counter I heard "We called and called you..."
"Well I have a brain tumor. I am stupid." I
tell one lady.
Another
walks out and the other looks at her and says "This is Catherine Clay".
"Why'd
you miss your plane?"
"Because
I have a brain tumor."
"Really?
Me too!"
"Which
kind?"
"Oh...
I thought you were joking."
"Did
you see my walker?"
"It's
hard to see from here."
The first chick books me a flight to Louisville. I have to wait a few more hours. Went out to smoke yet again and got felt up by the Airport Nazi's on my way back which made me cry.
Being diagnosed with a strange and awful disease on top of the shit I am going through doesn't make me cry but put me through the airport security and being felt up by some strange lady and I go through fits. Brain damage.
I get to Louisville and Andy picks me up. They eventually deliver my luggage around midnight to Granny's. Happy happy joy joy. I wish I would have left the luggage on the way back there considering all my cool t-shirts I brought back with me somehow ended up weighing 75 pounds. Go figure.
So I show up to Granny's on Andy's birthday. She feeds us and we sing happy birthday. I read from the plane to Louisville the book on dear ol' Cash and the words somehow go blurry. I know there is too much pressure in my head. I keep trying to read and eventually give up.
I see Anne's new house and it's darling. It's pretty Victorian however she puts too dark colors on the wall and anyone that paints their bedroom red is bound to show boughts of insanity at times. She has this huge fucking dog now that threatened to bite my face. Scooby Doo... what a fucking mess. He's huge, sheds everywhere and sleeps in bed with her.
"You don't know how well I sleep now, Cathy. Before I could never sleep well and now I sleep through the night." Fine.
I couldn't take care of a dog like that. Once he jerked my
arms that would be the end of it.
Granny was so loving. I gave her lots of kisses. We hung out on Thursday and went and saw Pop, her momma, my great-grandmother and great-grandfather. She doesn't know why her mother and father split but they are buried in the same cemetery and he died the year I was born.
We got home, I missed Barbara, the chick with the AC living in Harrodsburg... wait, that was the next day when we went to the Salvation Army. We got home and I called Lesli and she booked it to Granny's because before I knew it there she was with the boys and I was giving them their games and Von Dutch t-shirts. Lesli and I stayed up until 3 am playing Spongebob Square Pants. I love that game.
We all 4 hung out and had the best time. Talked about the worst days of our lives. Granny's was when Momma died, mine was when I found out Anne had leukemia and when she was raped. Anne's was also momma's and I can't remember Lesli's. I think it was the day momma was re-diagnosed with Cancer. I remember sitting outside the room when Lesli came in and started balling. I just sat there.
I went
to a couple of Derby parties instead of going to Derby. It
was rainy and I didn't want to be around that. I saw a few
of my friends. Andy and I went out to eat with Ian and Nicole
which was way nice. It was such a trip hanging out at his parent's
place where I used to hang out when I was a teenager. One of
the few "normal" experiences of my life. Cathy still had the
place decorated the same in some areas. However I am painful
sad that I missed hanging out with Grisha and his wife. I don't
know why I just didn't invite them over to Ian's. I'm a ding
dong.
It's hot as fuck here today. Makes smoking outside more painful. I'm so tired today. I hung out with King and Dallas last night watching Akira. He didn't want to have sex with me last night which is fine but I am dying because it's been over a week. Josh just got home from Cochella so he's going straight to bed. Oh me so horny...
Tuesday
May 4, 2004
I have
a bruise the size of Jupiter on my ass. Fucking Andy and
his "if it doesn't hurt me I won't clean it" attitude.
Got this from Dawnette:
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
I think this typifies my life right now.
I'm nervous/scared/excited. Michael is coming on the 18th. Dallas is going to be out tomorrow THANK GOD and I am going to give a lesson to this guy creaming over me. Nice.
I've already spent the money on a pair of earrings.
I went
with King last night to San Diego. I think I should just
keep calling him King because last night when the guy thanked
him for buying his guitar he called him Pumin and I couldn't
stop. "Pu-min... and the master's of the Universe!!!" "Pu-min
you are a putang. Do you know what a putang is?"
"No."
"Go ask
your boss."
"I can
look it up on the internet."
Wednesday
May 5, 2004
I just saw her 3 days ago and she was fine. Tomorrow she is having surgery on her groin again because there is a lump there. I'm in shock. Not my grandmother. Please let her live to be over a hundred. She deserves that kind of life. I want her more.
I want to cry. Fuck you God. You fucking suck. 3 days ago she was fine. I am sure she will be find after her surgery but I know if she has cancer that will kill her.
Sunday
May 9, 2004
Granny was sent home yesterday. She sounded strangely chipper for an 81 year old that had just had surgery. Much more chipper than say a 30 year old that just had brain surgery.
I felt the full force of my disease yesterday. That or maybe it was fucking Josh 4 times in less than 24 hours. I'm miffed at him now though because I asked him to call me last night and he didn't. There is an unknown number that called me last night around 8:45 so I will give him the benefit of the doubt but not really.
I went and ate in the park yesterday with Rebecca. I met her a few days ago in the Jacuzzi and she has been advertising her services on That Mall as well. It's a small world after all...
She has a million and one ideas, all of which are great, but harnessing her own fury seems to cause her some minor discourse. Then she blew me off last Thursday and wanted to get pissed at me yesterday because I slept in. I explained to her that I was ill and that does not change.
I swear
to God, it's so hard to make anyone understand how ill you
are if they don't suffer the slightest way you do. I was
walking slow... I knew I shouldn't have drank the red wine
but I did and she commented on how she was faster and a spaz
and I was like "I'm sick. I use a walker... wit ha basket."
"Do you
have flowers on it?"
"No."
"Well
perhaps we should put flowers on it."
No. "I'll
think about it."
I went to sleep right after that. Dead to the world. Watched Jepordy! with Dallas and I laid in bed for a while before I realized that my pain patch came off already and I was starting to ache.
I've been smoking a lot of Opium lately. At least every night before I go to bed so I can sleep and I think right now I am two pain patches ahead because of it. I don't understand why they make narcotics if they don't want you to take them.
I was down for the count last night before 9:30. I woke up around 5 am today and my chest totally aches. I hate it that I can feel my spine rotting. I wish I felt as good as I looked. My pee is this nice dark yellow color too. It's been a long time since I have been dehydrated from having too much sex and for some reason when I don't squirt it's not as much fun for me. I think 4 times in less than 24 hours is too much.
I got
a call from Xavier yesterday who swore to me he was going
to come see me today. I kept saying "You swear?" And
so although I won't hold my breath I know I will be very excited
to see him today. I am in the mood to clean up my room although
I am sore and achey.
I wanted to see the King today. I wanted to do a lot of things. I should start making myself lists of things I would like to accomplish. I should devote like 2 hours a day trying to get my diary done and rescanning the images I would like to use so I can get my final galley copy ready. I don't think so much love and attention will be going into the later volumes.
In a strange way I feel very juvenile reading through my old diary. Like there are pieces of myself that I can laugh about now that made perfect sense back then.
God this room is such a mess. I would like to make it manageable. I really should get rid of the clothes I am no longer going to wear.
Now I am starting to trip. I shouldn't have slept with Josh. I think most of them aren't hoping if it's just a matter of when. He had a threesome with JP and L. That wasn't too long ago. When does casual become too casual?
"This
Indian dude that sold me the cigs wanted me to sleep with
him."
"Well why don't you do that? Because you don't like Indians?" Um,
no.
"He's too old." I
thought you were interested in me but apparently you aren't
if you want me to sleep around. I guess I won't feel bad
when Michael gets here from Oz and I don't see you for a
month.
"You're fun." He
tells me in the shower.
"I try." I
respond.
"I think I like having sex just a little more than other chicks." I
say in bed. I don't think he wants me to know how much he likes
me in some kind of warped way. I think some guys are just content
sitting around in their under ware doing nothing but jerking
off to the thoughts of fucking.
He gently nods and laughs when I make the little bit with my tongue wagging in between my fingers. I laugh when I first see his bedroom and there is a mirror behind his head and one where his closet is. He was here over the week and I didn't know he honestly suffered tremendously from a skin condition but slowly started to realize once he snagged the cream the doctor prescribed me that it was more serious than I had imagined.
I like
Josh because he gets the rules of courtship. The things someone
had to teach you or something you figure out. I come in the
door and ask if he wants to shower and at first he says no
and then somehow he realizes in his brain that shower=naked
wet woman and if he hasn't showered there is not going to be
a lot happening. "I've got this stuff on my skin."
"I'll grease you back up." I
tell him. I deliberate DO NOT give him head because there
is no way I am going to do that being this is I don't know
how many times we have been together and he hasn't gone down
on me and amazingly enough he understands that no head =
no head. His father is a math teacher so maybe that's where
some of the logic comes in. He also though he was going to
stick it in my ass before he went down on me. Um, no thanks.
I like to feel him inside me. His cock bends to my right. I studied him for a long time when we were first getting naked, trying to figure the optimal angle which would allow his cock to hit above my pubic bone and get stuck there stimulating my g-spot until I went nuts. So I start off missionary only I end up with a pillow under my hips and that way I can roll up and down on him which makes him close his eyes and peep at me moving my hips up and down and being attached to save for the B.O.M.B later on.
Well what do you know? This serial is actually working for Dreamweaver. Now I have the latest version. I just wish I could replace my screen so I could see better. My computer at work shows all the images WAY TOO DARK so that pisses me off a little.
Good. I get to trash Dreamweaver MX because it sucked. I hope they fixed a lot of the problems in MX 2004. I think I am going to take some time and clean up my computer today and my room.
I see what I look like from my angle for the first time when someone enters me from behind. I watch him watching me watching him watch us in the mirror, burying his cock inside of me, from every angle we try. My favorite is to flip on my back when he starts to break a sweat so his head hits my g-spot again and again. My eyes roll back into my head and as Amy likes to state, the toes start to curl.
Damn that took for fucking ever. Now my room is cleaned and vacuumed. Almost everything is in order except for the masses of shoes that I now have since Granny gave them to me.
This is the cleanest my tomb has been in a while. I got my paintings hanging on the wall. I really wish I could get the one's at Andy's. Especially that huge one that momma did before she died. I guess there are some things she knew I didn't understand at the time that I do now.
My heart aches and I want to cry. I can tear up but that's about as far as I will let myself go now that it hurts too much to cry. It hurts too much to feel the bad feelings so instead I will make happy memories. Life is way too short. I will feel momma all day. I have to go play with Buzzy now.
Monday
May 10, 2004
I'm grumpy. I am sunburned and pissed over something stupid. Josh called me when I was chilling with Buzzy and asked if he could see me last night. I was angry that he didn't call me the night before just to say hey so I told him I was going to clean up my room and that he could call me later. He didn't call me later so now I am twice as pissed that he didn't call me Saturday night.
I think I should just let it go. It's stupid stuff but it's communication. I am mad that he just thought he could call me up and be like dur dur dur... I didn't call you last night so I will call you tonight so we can hook up. He was doing so well too.
But I am rested today. I feel good even though I am hot and burned.
I just pigged out. Chocolate, mint chocolate chip yogurt, Sea Salt and Vinegar chips with a banana and white cranberry. YUM!
Dr. Chopra,
Could you be kind enough to fax over this information required by the NIH, via Renee Smith, so that I can enter a clinical trial.
If you need further information please contact me at work at 323-866-1010.
Thank you kindly,
Catherine E. Clay
310-283-7179 cell
323-866-1010 work
310-745-7422 home
Help us raise awareness
The Arachnoid Cyst Foundation http://arachnoidcyst.org
>Dear
Ms. Clay:
>
>
>
>In order to determine whether you are eligible for protocols in
the
>Endocrine Department at the NIH, please ask your endocrinologist
to fax a
>referral, including pertinent clinical information, laboratory
studies, and
>MRI report, to the Endocrine service at 301-402-1073.
>
>
>
>Thank you,
>
>René Smith, RN
>
>
>
>René K. Smith, RN, BSN, CNRN
>Research Nurse Specialist
>National Institutes of Health
>Surgical Neurology Branch, NINDS
>10 Center Drive, Room 5D37
>Bethesda, MD 20892-1414
>Office (301) 594-8108
>Fax (301) 480-1615
>
>
>
Then I called up Dr. Lynn Simon and left a message that I have always wanted to leave since I discovered she ruined my fucking life.
"Dr. Simon, this is Catherine Clay, I just want you to know that you are a dumb fucking cunt and you ruined my life because you didn't send me to an endocrinologist. I hate you and I wish you would die." Click.
So now Josh won't talk to me. I am such a freak. I guess Amy is right and I should ask him what his intentions are. I mean I don't want to be a nag and I am. I don't want to sit around and wait on a Saturday night to figure out what I am going to do if he doesn't call.
I slept Saturday and it felt so good. I love my bedroom now. I covered up the storage bins with a curtain and now I need one of those little dressing things. I want to put photos in it.
Moron is trying to charge me $50 an hour to fix my laptop. His services are no longer free.
I am on the phone with an attorney to file for divorce. I am so sick of putting up with his shit.
The coke whore called me while I called Dallas to get a phone number off my phone for me. I wonder what she wants.
This groovy photo was taken in front of our building
World Tour Departure Day at BGS in Los Angeles, California, USA (April 5, 2004). From left to right: JianJie Lu (from Ogilvy), Faye Wu (behind the windshield), Frederic Journoud, Ness Ifergan, Michelle Miller, Cindy Montgomery, Anja Schaefer (on the Suzuki), Seong-Moh Yang, Igor Marchenko, James Wang, Antony Bartlett, Nancy Humbarger (on the Kawasaki), Stefan Ahrensdorf, Taylor Easum, Antje Ahrensdorf, Russell Narahara, Amy Shaw, Catherine Clay (on the Harley), and Russell Trounce.
Now I
am chatting with Josh and he understands that when he doesn't
call that there is a problem with communication. "Now
I feel like a shit."
You know it's not that hard...
Tuesday
May 11, 2004
Josh asked me to go to the beach last night. When I got home Dallas had already made stir fry shrimp and I ate it greedily as the junk that I ate for lunch (Sea Salt Chips, Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, chocolate cake, White Cranberry...). So we ate a great meal. Walked up and down Venice Beach looking at the bootleg purses. I saw a big black Gucci I want.
We sat and broke the law by lighting up a joint and smoking on the beach since they recently outlawed smoking on Venice Beach and you can get a $250 ticket for smoking tobacco.
So we
sat there and he was freezing and I almost thought to put
an extra sweatshirt because I knew I would get cold but I
didn't. I did well to remember the blanket. So I made him
lie down and I put my cap on his head that I wore to keep
the sun off my face since I got so crispy the other day. Then
I put my hood from my sweatshirt up and it hid my face so Josh
laughed and told me "No one can see you now!"
Now I
must admit, we have a silly kind of thing going on and there
were pangs in my heart because I feel like a total BITCH
since Michael is going to be here soon. But I just can't
help enjoying myself with him. I laid on top of him and put
my sweatshirt over his face and said "Now no one can see us." so
we sat there with me on top of him warming him up and making
out.
Amy said yesterday that I was slender but somehow I can't shake the fat girl feelings. I know I am dropping but last night when I was on top of him I felt slender. I like it that he is taller than me. I like it that our bodies fit so well together and I am not afraid I am going to squash him.
After all that Hullabaloo with Moron the other day and him wanting to charge me $50 to fix my computer I decided that I was going to officially file for a divorce. He called me and told me today that he wanted my ring size.
I really like Josh a lot. I can't get over that he like always has a hard on. That's like crazy.
Buzzy
is over her tizzy I think. She called me yesterday and she
hasn't called me in ages. I love it when we spat. It's so
amusing because we are both such Divas. We sat there speculating
why on earth Michelle would be calling me now and went way
way way out there when I all of a sudden I felt like Buzzy
was looking at me and I was looking at her through the phone
and she said "Oh come on. It's about the drugs. That's all
she wants to talk about because it's always about her."
We both giggled. I love that the true feelings we share never fade not matter how disagreeable we become with one another.
* * *
My God... My body aches to be close to his. All the senses of sensuality from the way the light fell through the window to sensual gestures with hands, lips, teeth, eyes and skin.
I swear I have never had such a formidable lover. I push with all the forces of my being and conjure up the Samuri pussy lurking under each sexual encounter. I so crave the feel of the warm and tender flesh of his cock digging deeper and deeper into me. I think I might bare back him next time I finish my period.
I laid there after the first time he came and the umpteenth time I did and felt his heart beating through my g-spot. It was certainly one of the most tender encounters I have ever had with a human being. Maybe that's the kind of energy it takes to make a baby.
All I know is that my hips circled to the rhythm of the sway of his hips and there were noises from the outside world filtering in as my cries of ecstasy shot through the air like the machine gun the other night.
My body lingers on top of his cock and I am still push with all my might and he moves his cock in a manner I have never experienced. He was pushing back too and was still and moving up and down. The tragic thing is that from these meds I am not as juicy as I once could be but he somehow managed to make me squirt again when I thought I was dry by hooking his fingers up in there and rubbing. I fall limp as a burst of girl cum spoos from my body.
Her sqirt was like a warm river of pleasure... although my cock was poised right outside of her, the sensation of the flow hitting my head and running down to my balls was almost as it I was still buried deep inside of her... almost like sex while hovering in mid-air.
He came twice today and lost the battle the third time. Had it not been so late I would still be hooked on his cock rolling around in ecstasy. I did something I have never done with anyone with him. Actually many first time things because our bodies fit so nicely together. I got on top. I rolled around for a few minutes before he took over under me. I fell back hooking my arms on his legs and held my feet and just fell back while I rode him. It was such a pleasure to which I am not accustomed.
I watched her stretch out above me and throw her head back, moaning and breathing hard. I tucked my ass down so I could penetrate deeper into her and rock myself in and out of her.
God it felt so good.
Wednesday
May 12, 2004
Dima sent me this horrible video of a cat that gets decapitated when it sticks its head in a sun roof. Gross.
I felt like shit today.
Josh keeps cheering me up
ceclay01: what was the last thing you got?
xsirjoshuax: I feel the head of his cock hit my g-spot and slowly throb. I can feel his heart beating inside of me which is yet again a new sensation. My face grows hot and I feel the wave of this orgasm push down with my special ninja pussy powers I push him out and squirt all over him which makes him moan like the first time he entered my body. I am hot and wet and all my muscles are still positioned to keep him out but he makes his way back into my tight cunt and hits me again with the head of his cock.
ceclay01: too bad you have to do something today
ceclay01: did you respond?
xsirjoshuax: yep...
xsirjoshuax: I push as deep as I can... searching for the spot where the tip of my cock gets encircled by one of her mysterious muscles. I find it and roll my hips to explore the deepest places I can reach. Unable to penetrate further, I squeeze the muscle inbetween my ass and balls to make my cock expand and fill her as full as possible.
ceclay01: she blushes profusly and puts her head on the table
xsirjoshuax: hee hee...
I'm dying.
Dallas is going to be out tonight.
Josh has to go talk to some people and I am fucking horny as hell. Oh no... what am I going to do?
Thursday
May 13, 2004
Today's is Lesli and Doug's anniversery. She sent me an e-mail and told me she remembered yesterday.
Now I am talking to Granny. I love chatting with her.
Now I just want to sleep.
Monday May 17, 2004
Josh invited me to a hip hop club on Santa Monica Blvd.
When
you hear a whistle of "wu-wu" and everyone all of
a sudden has cleared the club that means some gang shit is
about to go down. They were throwing down the house. Tables,
people, glass. Someone got stabbed. Someone got shot.
In da club by 50 cent is running through my head.
It was an eventful evening.
Naturally being honkies we didn't know about the wu-wu thing. I met Flavor Flav from Public Enemy. I ran up a tab of $84. It was crazy.
Josh was getting pissy because I was hanging on him. Then the fight broke out and he was on me like white on rice.
Dallas went with me because I figured he was going to be too busy. I kept getting Dallas to hit on people but now that I know they were gang bangers that's enough for me.
HA HA HA HA... the coke whore was fired. HA HA HA HA... She was calling to get sympathy from ME. HA HA HA... I need to file that lawsuit ASAP.
Oh fuck... I have been so fucking tired lately... Aside from that I hooked up with Joe the Video game dud and then spent the rest of the weekend with Josh. I guess I should have taken some clothes last night to work in but I am sure he was glad to get me out of the house.
Micheal broke his back so he won't be coming for at least a month. I'm super bummed about that. I was supposed to have the best birthday ever... but I think I will anyway. Buzzy and I are going to Catalina because neither one of us have ever been.
I have a lesson tonight, Thank God. I spent $84 at that damn club on booze. I guess that's why they say drink in moderation. I didn't go to bed on Saturday until 4 and woke up around 4 too. I guess it's good that I am getting so much sleep.
Tuesday May 18,2004
I'm being lazy and I am not going to fix this problem right now. I think they blocked what I was doing before with a firewall but now they can't block the web site so I am working on the server from where Andy installed Mindterm.
I am bleeding. Josh said he never had sex with a girl on her period... wait... I save our convos sometimes.
I SCREAMED
at the assholes that work for Duragesic. "I'm sick and tired that every god damn time I walk into a pharmacy they don't have my fucking medicine." I
was a little nutty. I'm bleeding and cramping so naturally
I was none too happy.
I see the pituitary doctor tomorrow. I asked to have my bloodwork drawn so I won't waste the doctor's time nor will I waste mine but there was no dice. I am not too happy about that.
Wednesday May 19, 2004
That took for fucking ever. I saw Dr. Vivan today and she was so impressed with my scans that she asked me if she could use them to teach. That was a trip.
I had
to sit there for like 3 hours and they injected this shit
in my veins so I had to wait to see how my coritosol levels
would level out.
Monday May 24, 2004
June 17th.
Third time is a charm?
Tuesday May 25, 2004
Sometimes I have to really wonder what's this really all about. I sit and think about all the things going on in my life, how other people with ACs listen to me (that's the one thing I know about), the boys that I am involved with, just everything.
I had sex this weekend with King and Josh. Josh came over on Friday and then bailed and then King came over. I love sleeping with him. His body is so long that he can wrap himself around me nicely. He tells me I need more lovers, naturally his friends. "You need 5 men. I will bring them to you."
"I am not a prostitute. I know one if you would like her phone number. If you do that to me then I will never sleep with you again."
Dallas leaves the apartment all day on Saturday. She is pissed that it's 11:20 and King is coming over. I told her it was not a school night and basically gave the impression that I am going to do whatever the fuck I want because I am a grown up and it's my place too.
He took me to have my teeth cleaned and I told him he needed a night guard. They told me I needed one because I grind my teeth at night and apparently have worn my teeth down like my father. I remmber when they first gave him one. It didn't surprise me that I grind my teeth just like it doesn't surprise me that I snore. I am not happy that no one told me that I grind my teeth. You would think with as many people as I have been with that SOMEONE out there would have told me.
The dentist looked at King's teeth and said "He's not as old as she is." which really pissed me off because we are the same age. I just used to take a file and file my teeth down because I didn't like the crooked parts. I just didn't know that with my grinding that it was going to happen naturally.
So we went home and Dallas was at work. We hung out and I made my batch of Kombucha and finally brewed up some herbs that they made me when I went to Yo San to get acupuncture so many years ago. I tidied up a bit, didn't smoke all fucking day :) and then just hung out with King on the couch until Dallas got home and then we had sex.
He's such a freak. He keeps wanting me to tell her to come in. Obviously he has not been in a threesome or he would know that they suck. Someone is always left out or there is something that is always missing.
Josh called me late. King left at 9 so I called Josh to see what was what and met the crew at Goldfinger's. Now that's my kind of night club. Funky 80s music and lots of punk tock girls that are delightful to look at.
I had so much fun dancing with Joshy. I felt kind of odd though because here are the people I have been chilling with for over 2 years and now I am fucking Chris's best friend. Josh was all happy because like 2 of his ex girlfriends were there. I felt weird seeing Lysette since I know they had a threesome with John Paul. I told everyone I was having surgery again.
We went back to his place and had the greatest sex. We were on the couch and I was on top and gushing and moving and a grooving all over his cock. He would move too which made it so much nicer. I would move harder and he would move deeper. He tried hard not to seperate from me and we did a damn good job. When it was time to switch so he could be on top he did something to me that no one else has ever done and that was pick me up while he was still in me and then laid me down. I pushed so hard on his cock. I got to watch him go in and out of me which drove me insane. He finished before I did and we went into the bedroom and I had him jack me off for a long time and I fucking gushed like Ol' Faithful.
We woke up the next morning and fucked all over again. Goo in the eyes, bad breath and mascara all over the place kind of sex.
There was no food in the house so we went to the grocery and he made a Salmon omlette while I slept. He woke me up and we ate and watched Bruce Almighty. After that was over it was already 6 and I was supposed to go see the Baby with Buzzy. She called the house but not my cell.
I played with his cock while we were watching the movie and when it was over I wanted more. He rolled his eyes and then whined "Cathy... you need 5 other men."
"Why do you all say that to me!!!" I scream and hit him away.
"Oh so I am not the only one? You already have 5 other guys..."
"No I am not saying that, but you are not the first guy to say that to me." Thinking about Balo and his big dick bringing over a friend.
The other night Josh came over. "I've never had sex with any of my girlfriends when they were on their periods."
"Never-ever?" I ask.
"It's gross."
"No it's not. It's hotter and wetter."
The after period sex went along the same line only I started laughing.
"Have you had sex on your period?"
"Lots of times. I'm such a cunt." Then I start thinking about Balo and how he asked me what this shit was when I let him fuck me on my period and how he was a sniper and an attorney and the thought so much of himself and I was making him fuck me when I was on my period. "I used to only fuck guys the first time when I was on my period."
Oh my god... I am working and Cindy comes in and we start chatting about brain surgery and boys and then Amy talks about eating pussy and I die laughing and Cindy leaves. I love my job, finally. I hope they really stick with me.
Everyone is running around since we are moving next week to Santa Monica. I will miss my Beverly Hills view as well as working on Wilshire.
Wednesday
May 26, 2004
I went to bed early last night. I was in a bad mood.
Josh thought it was my birthday but he had work to do. He sent me a card and thoguht it was my birthday and then didn't want to spend the night with me. I woke up in pain and for some fucked up reason that anger still clung to me until the morning.
