July 1, 2004
So Olga and I hung out last night ans saw Farenheight 911. She hated it. It made me laugh sometimes. "Who's your Daddy" in particular. I hate that expression... I guess because I don't really have a daddy.
July 6, 2004
Shit so much has happened in the span of a week. My computer is basically kaput. The electrical outlet in the back has had it so I desperately need a new computer. Part of me is entertaining the idea of getting a new tower but that's so not me. I need a laptop.
Dr. Kelly has agreed to put me on disabliity. If I could flip cartwheels then I would. I need the rest, desperately. I think they are going to pay out on disability too.
Now that my life looks like it might actually work my way for a spell I don't know what I am going to do.
Tuesday July 7, 2004
My computer is fucked. The plug broke in the back so now I am trying to get a new laptop from someone that can afford it.
The thought of finally going on disability has made me one of the happiest people on the planet.
I have to work up the courage to speak with my boss. I am chicken shit. I need to work part time and from home.
Wednesday July 8, 2004
I'm tired. I think I might get a new computer because someone is acutally going to take mercy on me. I posted a nasty gram on Craigslist and someone that works wehre Dez used to is going ot help me... I hope.
Tuesday July 13, 2004
I barely made it to work today.
Wednesday July 14, 2004
My left hand was dead when I woke up yesterday. I had a dream about Balo and mom at our old lakhouse where all the Clays used to get together for summer. It left me feeling weird the rest of the day.
My boss is here today but he won't even look at me. I can't wait to go on disability. I don't want to be treated like waste.
I don't know why all of a sudden all this stuff is happening. It's like I haven't heard from people for ages and then all of a sudden there are 3 a day. It's oeverwhelming.
Thursday July 15, 2004
Man I am...
Blurry vision, pain... the story of my life. My arms hurt. My back hurts. My legs hurt.
I MISS RICHARD THE ROLFER.
I have my matroshke dolls I gave to momma staring at me. They are so cute.
I was thinking that I was going to go back to KY and drive there. On the way I was going to make stops to all the people that have this disease and help them if I can. Wouldn't that make a great reality TV show?
Monday July 19, 2004
It was a hedonistic weekend. There was so much going on and so many people. It was nice for Josh to see all his friends and fuck my brain out in between. All the usual suspects, Double D, JP, Chris & Jen, Beau Bridges and I am sure I am forgetting someone. We naked swam when we were drunk enough. It was fun. Josh kept telling me to leave his penis alone since we were in the pool with other people. So he has photos of three naked chicks in the pool with him.
I think I have body Dysmophia. When I saw this photo of the three of us lifting out of the pool I was a lot thinner in the picture than I imagined. I am sure there will be photos to come.
Saturday night Josh wanted to put me to bed and go out and I was like "Stay..." because I didn't want him out running aorund doing cocaine. He stayed with me and I finally made him pass out around 3 am. We use Vasline when we do it in the pool.
Can I just tell you how much I love pool sex?
No gravity #1. They never hsow them fucking in Star Trek. I swear there should be cartoons drawn to that. I felt like a cartton character bouncing up and down on his cock all weekend. My goodness.
Friday July 23, 2004
One more week.
I am dying. The fuckers at Payrolling.com didn't get my insruance payments so now I get $800... just in time :)
I acutally feel GOOD today. I don't know why either... it's friday. My vision is diminishing so... that's that. I need to put some scans up. I want to go home.
Josh and I went to see CattyWompus last night at the KEy Club. I think we would have VIPed it anyway because of my enormous tits. That was nice.
I don't know why my spine doens't hurt as it typically does. I don't know a lot of things right now...
I think I am in love. No... I know I am in love. We had sex twice last night. I'm getting kind of upset about people lately though... one dude that is 81 said I should be a high class call girl... no thanx and then insulted Josh even more by saying that since he wasn't supporting me that was bad. Why do I need a man to support me? Why do I need to be a hooker?
Then last night I was telling Shannon how I couldn't afford to pay someone $120 to do my fucking hair and she was all "Well then... find a man who will pay." Which offended me.
I'm leaving...
Thursday July 29, 2004
Bad bad bad... I'm a bad girl!
2 more days and naturally if the doctor's office could fuck up worse than they did I don't know how. All this begging and pleading to go on disability has ROYALLY PISSED ME OFF because the dumb cunt told me that I could go and then now she is saying I have to be reevaluated. Fine. I don't care. I just don't want there to be a lapse in my benefits.
